If you are old enough, you will remember exactly where you were during the moon landing in 1969. I was in Germany, watching this major event unfold on a small black and white TV screen in a hostel lounge. We were the last South African swimming team to participate internationally before sport sanctions were fully imposed.

Little did I know that two years later tragedy would strike our family, and yet, as I look back over the past 50 years, I only see God’s grace, love and guidance poured out over us right up to this day.

Then why am I so angry? Someone once said that anger is like a flashing red light on the dashboard of your car, indicating that something is wrong. Smashing the red light with a hammer won’t take care of the problem – something under the hood is amiss. Something is seriously wrong.

I can only conclude that this anger is due to unmet expectations. What expectations? you might ask. You seem to have everything your heart desires?

I expected so much from our president and his new cabinet.

I expected that by now those guilty of fraud and corruption would be behind bars.

I am frustrated that after spending hours in meetings teaching and discussing various salient points with staff, expecting that all would be on the same page, they default back to their old and trusted ways.

I expected that my rehabilitation after my accident would progress so much faster – even though professionals say I am in too much of a hurry, and that the progress to date is remarkable.

I expected that the high standards of excellence our family has strived for over the past 45 years would by now be part of the DNA of every staff member.

I expected Anita to be fully healed by now – after years of prayer.

I expected…

On the one hand, business often determines that we move at a pace that can put incredible stresses upon people and relationships … including me, my family and top management (Os Hillman). On the other hand, God’s Word says, “Blessed are all they that WAIT for Him.” (Isaiah 30:18)

And as I saw the red light flashing on my dashboard, I needed to do some serious introspection … and the Holy Spirit reminded me of His Word…

“…when you are angry you give a mighty foothold to the devil … don’t use bad language. Say only what is good and helpful to those you are talking to, and what will give them a blessing … stop being mean, bad-tempered and angry. Quarrelling, harsh words and dislike of others should have no place in your lives. Instead, be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you because you belong to Christ.” (Ephesians 4:27-32)

And then, as I thanked God for the numerous blessings in my life, I also had to confess my sin of thinking God is not in control … and slowly the destructive anger flowed from my body. I was reminded of God’s promises He gave me over the years during my quiet times…

“Fear not, you will no longer live in shame … the shame of your youth and the sorrows … will be remembered no more.” (Isaiah 54:4)

“Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord Almighty – you will succeed because of my Spirit, though you are few and weak.” (Zechariah 4:6)

“I know you well; you aren’t strong, but you have tried to obey and have not denied My name. Therefore I have opened a door to you that no man can shut.” (Revelation 3:8)

“Don’t be impatient. Wait for the Lord, and He will come and save you! Be brave, stout-hearted and courageous. Yes, wait and He will help you.” (Psalm 27:14)

All I need to do now is to wait on the Lord and trust. Not wait inactively, but in prayer, and He will open my eyes to see Him at work. The time to PRAY and TRUST is now, more than ever, and then, while we wait, our strength will lie in quietness and confidence in our Lord Jesus.

On a personal note – thank you for your responses and emails. These are much appreciated and a great encouragement to continue walking the road less travelled.