It’s early morning and I have been awake since 02:00 am, turning and tossing and thinking of all my problems. Why are there so many problems on the project that I am busy with? Why is everything going wrong? Why is it that there is a rock around every corner – literally and figurative?
That is when doubt sets in. Am I busy with my thing or God’s thing? Am I outside of God’s will? Is He saying something to me and I am not listening? Many hear, very few listen and even less do! Am I moving in my own power instead of walking in the Spirit? – as God commanded me in Zechariah 4:6 “Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit,” says the Lord Almighty…”you will succeed because of my Spirit, though you are few and weak. Therefore no mountain, however high, can stand before Zerubbabel (me!) For it will flatten out before him!” (me!)
Kneeling before God in prayer and asking for forgiveness in the early morning hours is a cleansing process … asking God to stop what I am busy with if it is not His will and pleading for guidance, insight and wisdom on the road ahead is part of one’s journey with God. This is a “character forming time” as we confess our sins, our individuality and own ideas rather than wanting to follow God’s ideas…His Spirit and His guidance.
My eye caught a note that I wrote which said, “See to it that you obey Him who is speaking to you… how terrible our danger if we refuse to listen to God who speaks to us from heaven…” Heb. 13:25
Then I read from Oswald Chambers, “Am I busy with the kind of thing in which Jesus Christ is interested?” and I had to again look at how I understood God’s guidance to do what I am busy doing. It became clear that I lose power because I don’t focus on the right thing… that I need to focus on Jesus and the Holy Spirit!
Lord, you promised you are going to lead me … For I have chosen you and will not throw you away. Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed. I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will uphold you with My victorious right hand! Isaiah 41:9b-10
Why then all the troubles Lord?
I then read in Jesus Calling (27 Nov) “A life of praises and thankfulness becomes a life filled with miracles. Instead of trying to be in control, you focus on Me and what I am doing.” I immediately started thanking and praising God for what I am busy with, for His guidance, for the opportunity to change deaf children’s lives and for the opportunity to be able to build a high school one brick at a time and one classroom at a time. Slowly I started getting a new perspective on what was going on … not my perspective, but God’s perspective. Problems started diminishing as God started getting bigger and as Jesus Calling says, “This is the power of praise: centering your entire being on Me!”
I then picked up Spurgeon’s Cheque Book of the Bank of Faith (27 Nov) where he says, “God will march with us!”
Next I read Psalms 142:3 I am overwhelmed and desperate, and You alone know which way I ought to turn. Lord, you are my only place of refuge. Only You can keep me safe. (v6) Hear my cry, for I am very low.
Ps 143:8-10 Let me see your kindness to me in the morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for my prayer is sincere. Help me to do your will, for you are my God.
Luke 22:42 Father… I want your will, not mine.
I then realised that the problem with problems is that they take our focus off Jesus. Going from a pity party about my own position to praise and thanksgiving on what God is doing, I slowly get God-focused and God-energized on what has already been achieved as praise brings everything into perspective. My problems start diminishing and God’s goodness and promises start encouraging me as I don’t give up … but look up.