The past 3 months, my best friend Gerrit was severely ill and in and out of hospital. In fact, the neurologist thought that he was not going to make it and that his children had to come from the USA to be at his side. Sitting in his hospital room praying for him while he fitfully slept, day in and day out, while watching one’s prayers seemingly going unanswered, drains you mentally, emotionally and physically. I reached the stage where I started feeling powerless, as if God was no longer hearing my prayers. In fact, I was beginning to wonder whether I really know God as I was experiencing an increasing distance between us.
One morning early, while having my quiet time, I decided to tell the Lord exactly how I felt – powerless, alone and that I am beginning to doubt my belief in Him. I then read…
I begin to realise there is a distance between Jesus and me and I can no longer be intimate with Him…. When the darkness of dismay comes, endure until it is over, because out of it will come the ability to follow Jesus truly, which brings inexpressibly wonderful joy!
Oswald Chambers – My Utmost for His Highest – 15 March.
What an amazing God we serve. If we seek Him, we will find Him. I realised that I was going through ‘but a season of darkness’ and that I should persevere, while fixing my eyes on Jesus. Not always easy when the storms of life billow around you.
A few days later I woke up at 02:00, thinking about the cares and the worries of the day. The political situation in our country; all our business challenges; the devaluing of the Rand; etc. etc. and again cried out to God for help. I had to skip the previous day’s quiet time due to a problem, and that morning I had enough time to catch up. The Holy Spirit had a plan to ‘group’ the two day’s devotionals together and give me a clear message, even if I did feel guilty not having had my quiet time the previous day. God’s answer through the daily devotionals and my Bible reading was very clear.
- Fear to fear…rise up by saying “I will trust, and not be afraid”
Spurgeon – Cheque Book of the Bank of Faith – 17 March
- Trust Me for everything
- Trust Me in everything
God Calling – 17 & 18 March
- Trust Me! Trust Me one day at a time!
Sarah Young – Jesus Calling – 17 & 18 March
- Keep your eyes on Jesus, our leader and instructor.
Hebrews 12:2 Living Bible text
- Put God first in your life.
Oswald Chambers – My Utmost for His Highest – 18 March
- Why be discouraged and sad? Hope in God! Expect God to act!
Ps 42:5 & 11 Living Bible text
- O my soul, why be so gloomy and discouraged! Trust in God!
Ps 43:5 Living Bible text
God’s message was very clear. In the days that followed I heard the Holy Spirit say TRUST! TRUST! TRUST! whenever I started to stress. (My friend Gerrit was discharged that same day and now recuperating at home).
As I go into this new day, facing life’s challenges, maybe even feeling discouraged and sad, I may know that it is but a season. I must persevere, I must wait and trust, trust and wait…I must expect God to act!
Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor His ear to dull to hear. (Is 59:1)