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Walking in fear or walking in faith?

As we move towards year’s end, I tend to reflect on the time past. A year ago fear and doubt lurked in my heart about 2013. How was I to finish the high school? Where was I to get the money to complete what God has started? Why was I doubting God’s promise given to me in Isaiah 45:1-3 that He will open doors, level the mountains, break down the city gates and give me the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places?

Why was I trying to predict the outcomes when Jesus wants us to leave the outcomes to Him? He should be our guide while we enjoy life in His presence and keep our focus on Him. And yet, I kept on looking to my troubles, and doubt and fear and anger set in as I forgot the promise God gave me 15 years ago in Zechariah 4:6, the one verse that weaves like a golden thread through my life, our school and company “…Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord Almighty – you will succeed because of My Spirit, though you are few and weak.”

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We Each Have a Story

We each have our own life and our own story. It is up to us to make it a good story or a sad one. Making the right choices is part of a good story and often we have to rectify the bad ones, if we can.

I often have to ask myself whether I trust in God or in my own ability. If I trust in myself more than in God, I will be disappointed, often walking in fear and anger as things don’t go “my way.” If I trust in God, He will reward me with divine guidance, wisdom, love, peace and above all, GRACE.

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Look and persevere

I know very few dedicated Christians who do not go through trials and tribulation in their life. Every time I start losing my perspective and start sliding into self-pity, worry, anger, fear and unbelief, the Holy Spirit reminds me that “unto them that look for Him shall He appear…” (Heb 9:28).

All I need to do is ‘look’ … and in looking I automatically turn my eyes away from my own trials and tribulation. And as I look to the Lord I try and keep up my spirit, expecting a great deliverance, ready to praise God for it. (Ps. 27:14 and Spurgeon’s Cheque Book of Faith Sep 06). “You can never please God without faith, without depending on Him. Anyone who wants to come to God must believe that there is a God and the He rewards those who sincerely look for Him”. (Heb. 11:6)

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The business of busyness

As I travel to different countries, I see many people working very hard. The question is: Are they reaping a harvest in proportion to the planting of crops? Or is the planting more like a lot of busyness with little fruit to show for all the work? I have to ask this question of myself as well, as I have experienced that same situation of working hard but harvesting little. One doesn’t have to travel far to discover busyness.

Micah 6:14-15 says “…though you try and try to save money, it will come to nothing at the end, and what little you succeed in storing up I’ll (God will) give to those who conquer you! You will plant crops but not harvest them; you will press out the oil from the olives, and not have enough to anoint yourself! You will trample the grapes, but get no juice to make your wine”.

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A monument of unbelief

Now and again I make notes in the daily devotionals that I read about pressing matters that I may pray about. The past week I saw some notes I made a year ago while we were looking at temporary classrooms to finish our high school. I remember the temporary asbestos classrooms (of all things) we sat in during my Primary School years and how hot they were in summer and how cold they were in winter.

Last year we needed to construct the next phase of the high school with very little money (R 27’000) and whenever I prayed about the problem, I felt God encouraging me with these words, “you must never doubt, never worry, but step by step, the way to freedom must be trodden. This means no worry, no anxiety, but it does not mean no effort……. how often, when sometimes you little know it, do I go before you to prepare the way, to soften a heart here, to overrule there.” (God Calling 24 April).

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